Jordan VS Greg: FIGHT!

So this game came by a bit of a surprise to me.  I got a text saying “I want to feel you deep inside me.”  And I texted back “Greg?”

So the next day I showed up at the Morris Nerdatorum and threw down.

I brought a Sorcerer and a Lord, each on a bike, a unit of 5 spawn, 10 marines with melta guns in a rhino, 5 possessed, a maulerfiend and 10 cultists.

Greg was rocking out with his land raider out, along with a Chapter Master on a bike, a unit of bikes and an attack bike with a bunch of melta, a 5 man marine squad in a rhino, and an assault squad with a chaplain, they went in the Land Raider.

Starting off, I won every roll-off to start the game, and then Greg seized the initiative.

Here is what shit looked like at the start.

Where is Greg’s army you ask?  Well, his warlord has the Infiltrate 3 units bull shit so he outflanks everything and tells me that if a unit goes in a land raider it can outflank too.  Well, fuck me!  I desperately look for something that tells me that Greg is fuckin liar but after a couple minutes I stop caring cause it was taking too long.  Hey, if the Blood Angels land raider can deep strike, why can’t this one outflank?

Greg’s first turn he does…nothing.  That’s not entirely true, he does manage to get lucky and draw the card corresponding to the objective he is next to, score one for Greg.

On my turn I swarm the middle like corgi puppies called for dinner, invisibilify the maulerfiend and that’s it.

Greg gets all his reserves in.  The Land Raider comes in on my right side and takes a hull point off the invisible maulerfiend, the bikes come in on my left side and explode the rhino and then the Chapter Master, who split from the squad, drops the deuce and takes out 4 marines.

I assault the Rhino in the top left corner with the spawn and Lord, and split off the Sorcerer to join the marines who just lost their ride, they moved up and shot up the bikes while the maulerfiend and possessed assaulted them and wiped them out.  Oh and my cultists came on from reserve right next to the Chapter Master and did nothing but provide a tender morsel for the boss man to smash.

I don't know whether to be turned on or horrified.

And smash he did, but not before some jerk off stuck a banana in his tail pipe.  The land raider moved up to use that bullshit machine spirit to shoot the multi-melta at the maulerfiend, which was promptly negated by the bullshit daemon save.  The marines that evacuated the rhino as it was slowly ripped to shreds frantically tried to save their hides but only managed a couple wounds on the spawn…

Before the Lord charged into them and wiped them out while the spawn wandered off to collect objectives.  I blow up the land raider like a boss, one melta-gun equals one dead land raider.  Now this is the point in the game where I take advantage of Greg by using the garbage challenge mechanic.

Taking advantage of Greg

I cast Invisibility on my possessed then charge him and the maulerfiend into the Chapter Master and challenge with the possessed champ.  He has to kill the champ, which he doesn’t cause he is invisible, and that leaves the mauler to rip him a new one, except he saves both the Instakill wounds, well balls.  So much for the advantage.  He still loses combat cause the Possessed dealt a wound and he manages to escape, which is great for him because now it’s his turn.

Greg gets an objective to kill something in the shooting phase, but with his assault squad out of range his only chance is for the Chapter Master to bolter the last possessed, which he fails to do, but he then charges it and smashes it to paste.

In return, I charge the maulerfiend into the Chapter Master and turn him into paste.  I move the rest of my stuff around to cause maximum damage to the assault squad and Chaplain next turn…

…but we decide to call it as I’m way up on points and there is no possible way for Greg to win.

I don't what that scribble in the bottom left means.

And as a reward, Greg cooks me dinner!!  What a fantastic host.  The buttsex was a little suprising though.

He did make me dinner.

After thoughts:  I think Greg put way to many points into things that could get punked with a single shot.  The land raider, the Chapter Master.  He could have dropped the land raider and got a fully tooled up unit of marines in a rhino and have them outflank and it would have been way more cost effective.  Then he still could have afforded a drop pod for his assault marines.  I told him to double check to see if a Captain on a bike makes other bikes troops also, if so, thats even more savings for a razor back for the 5 man squad.

As for me, the possessed are way too expensive, unfortunately they are my mandatory unit so have to make an appearance.  The 2 characters on bikes in the unit of spawn were amazing.  Having such fast moving units on smaller tables is priceless.  Being able to get them right to the centre of the table on the first turn was critical, it let me set up to counter where Greg's land raider and bikes were coming in.  Looking back, I would have turbo boosted my rhino on turn 1 deeper into hi territory.  That may have forced him to bring his bikes in closer to his deployment zone which would have allowed me to keep my army together more, as I had to split them up to take out the mariens and bikes.

Happy Gaming!