Thursday, November 27, 2014

Jordan VS Greg: FIGHT!

So this game came by a bit of a surprise to me.  I got a text saying “I want to feel you deep inside me.”  And I texted back “Greg?”

So the next day I showed up at the Morris Nerdatorum and threw down.
I brought a Sorcerer and a Lord, each on a bike, a unit of 5 spawn, 10 marines with melta guns in a rhino, 5 possessed, a maulerfiend and 10 cultists.
Greg was rocking out with his land raider out, along with a Chapter Master on a bike, a unit of bikes and an attack bike with a bunch of melta, a 5 man marine squad in a rhino, and an assault squad with a chaplain, they went in the Land Raider.

Starting off, I won every roll-off to start the game, and then Greg seized the initiative.
Here is what shit looked like at the start.

Where is Greg’s army you ask?  Well, his warlord has the Infiltrate 3 units bull shit so he outflanks everything and tells me that if a unit goes in a land raider it can outflank too.  Well, fuck me!  I desperately look for something that tells me that Greg is fuckin liar but after a couple minutes I stop caring cause it was taking too long.  Hey, if the Blood Angels land raider can deep strike, why can’t this one outflank?

Greg’s first turn he does…nothing.  That’s not entirely true, he does manage to get lucky and draw the card corresponding to the objective he is next to, score one for Greg.
On my turn I swarm the middle like corgi puppies called for dinner, invisibilify the maulerfiend and that’s it.

Greg gets all his reserves in.  The Land Raider comes in on my right side and takes a hull point off the invisible maulerfiend, the bikes come in on my left side and explode the rhino and then the Chapter Master, who split from the squad, drops the deuce and takes out 4 marines.

I assault the Rhino in the top left corner with the spawn and Lord, and split off the Sorcerer to join the marines who just lost their ride, they moved up and shot up the bikes while the maulerfiend and possessed assaulted them and wiped them out.  Oh and my cultists came on from reserve right next to the Chapter Master and did nothing but provide a tender morsel for the boss man to smash.

I don't know whether to be turned on or horrified.

And smash he did, but not before some jerk off stuck a banana in his tail pipe.  The land raider moved up to use that bullshit machine spirit to shoot the multi-melta at the maulerfiend, which was promptly negated by the bullshit daemon save.  The marines that evacuated the rhino as it was slowly ripped to shreds frantically tried to save their hides but only managed a couple wounds on the spawn…

Before the Lord charged into them and wiped them out while the spawn wandered off to collect objectives.  I blow up the land raider like a boss, one melta-gun equals one dead land raider.  Now this is the point in the game where I take advantage of Greg by using the garbage challenge mechanic.
Taking advantage of Greg
I cast Invisibility on my possessed then charge him and the maulerfiend into the Chapter Master and challenge with the possessed champ.  He has to kill the champ, which he doesn’t cause he is invisible, and that leaves the mauler to rip him a new one, except he saves both the Instakill wounds, well balls.  So much for the advantage.  He still loses combat cause the Possessed dealt a wound and he manages to escape, which is great for him because now it’s his turn.

Greg gets an objective to kill something in the shooting phase, but with his assault squad out of range his only chance is for the Chapter Master to bolter the last possessed, which he fails to do, but he then charges it and smashes it to paste.
In return, I charge the maulerfiend into the Chapter Master and turn him into paste.  I move the rest of my stuff around to cause maximum damage to the assault squad and Chaplain next turn…
…but we decide to call it as I’m way up on points and there is no possible way for Greg to win.

I don't what that scribble in the bottom left means.

And as a reward, Greg cooks me dinner!!  What a fantastic host.  The buttsex was a little suprising though.

He did make me dinner.

After thoughts:  I think Greg put way to many points into things that could get punked with a single shot.  The land raider, the Chapter Master.  He could have dropped the land raider and got a fully tooled up unit of marines in a rhino and have them outflank and it would have been way more cost effective.  Then he still could have afforded a drop pod for his assault marines.  I told him to double check to see if a Captain on a bike makes other bikes troops also, if so, thats even more savings for a razor back for the 5 man squad.

As for me, the possessed are way too expensive, unfortunately they are my mandatory unit so have to make an appearance.  The 2 characters on bikes in the unit of spawn were amazing.  Having such fast moving units on smaller tables is priceless.  Being able to get them right to the centre of the table on the first turn was critical, it let me set up to counter where Greg's land raider and bikes were coming in.  Looking back, I would have turbo boosted my rhino on turn 1 deeper into hi territory.  That may have forced him to bring his bikes in closer to his deployment zone which would have allowed me to keep my army together more, as I had to split them up to take out the mariens and bikes.

Happy Gaming!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

New Winnipeg Based Kickstarter. Check this out!

So you may be asking yourself, what does a farming game like Crop Cycle have to offer fans of the dark future that is the 41st millennium? A surprising amount. In deciding to pledge money to the Kickstarter now in progress consider the following:
1.       For a photorealistic game, Crop Cycle features plenty of attack cards and an aggressive spirit that would make the Imperium’s finest proud
2.       The game is designed by Trevor Lehmann, a Manitoban (who else would make a farming card game) and local of Winnipeg
3.       Said game designer is also a fan of beer and a home brewer, a home brewer that also happens to have a history with tabletop miniatures and is willing to share his own beer at a 40k event in the future.
4.       The Emperor and Gods of Chaos may be mortal enemies, but if shown Crop Cycle, both would surely approve!
There you have it, four reasons to check out Crop Cycle, the Game of Competitive farming now on Kickstarter. Check it out HERE


Monday, November 3, 2014

Mohammer Tournament

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the second annual Mohammer Tournament.  For many years now I have been a part of Movember and last year I decided to host a fun small tournament to get a bunch of guys together to roll some dice and have a good time.  This year is no different.

The Event will take place on November 29th at Maxx Collectibles.  Sign up/Registration will start at 12:00 and there will be room for 12 players on a first paid first served basis.  Entry fee is $10 minimum with each dollar earning you an entry to the draw for the prizes which will be supplied by Garth, and they will be better than last years.  Please pay your registration by making a donation to the Mohammer team on the Movember website.  This makes things easier for me so I don’t have to worry about tax receipts and such.  Any payments that are made in cash will be donated by me.  You can pre-pay for re-roll dice as well, see below.

There will also be a one-time-use-only re-roll that can be purchased at any time during the day to re-roll any single D6 for $1, limit 1 per turn.
If you have grown a moustache, you will get 1 free re-roll PER GAME.

Army Construction

Each army will consist of 333pts.
You may not create additional units during a game, you may still take units that create additional units, but you may not use their ability that lets them produce more units.  (No summoning, no birthing termigants, no creating scarabs, etc.)
All forgeworld units will be acceptable, no super-heavies or gargantuan creatures.
If you build your army using a Combined Arms Detachment you will start each game with 2 game points
If you build your army using an Ally Detachment you will start each game with 1 game point.
If your army is unbound…may god have mercy on your heinous soul…and you will start each game with no points

The usual 3 colour minimum table top standard will be “enforced”.


Each mission will be a 3 - 5 player match (depending on number of players in the tournament), 2 of which will be based on classic first person shooter games.  The third will use Tactical Objectives
Games will be played on a 4X4 table.
Each table will have 4 markers on it which are re-spawn points, not actual objectives.  When your army is completely destroyed, you may place your army entirely within 6” of a random objective marker at the start of your turn.  Roll a d6, on a 1-4 you must put your army next to one of those markers, on a 5-6 you may choose the marker.  Your army may then act as normal.  If you can’t place your army around the designated marker, because of other models for example, randomly choose a different re-spawn point.
Mission 1: Death match – each time you destroy the last unit, or remove the last hull point or wound from an opponent’s army you earn 1 point.
Mission 2: King of the Hill – at the end of each player turn, you will earn a point if you are the only player with models on the hill.
Mission 3: Maelstrom of Randomness – at the start of each player turn a community Tactical Objective will be generated.  At the end of your turn you may score any of the objectives you complete in your turn.

Looking forward to seeing you guys there.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

W.H.A.T Tournament Report

Hey everybody, it’s been a while since I last posted here on the Blog but I managed to find time to get out and play in a very awesome escalation tournament that was run in Shilo (near Brandon) by my good buddy Donny.  It was held right on the military base in the Junior Raks bar so there was plenty of alcohol and it started flowing early.

Mark giving me the finger.

Table 1 on the stage

Party on the dance floor!

As I mentioned the tournament was an escalation tournament so our first game was 1000pts, the second was 1500, and the last game was 1850.  The stipulation in army construction was that you could only add points to your list in order to get it to the next points limit.  So with that in mind I decided to take a very crazy list that was untested and very “iffy” at best, and it was unbound which bit me in the ass and cost me my last game.

All 1850 of it.

My list looked like this:
Sorcerer, level 3, 5++, plasma pistol, force sword
5 Spawn MoN
Maulerfiend, lasher tendrils
Maulerfiend, magma cutters
Helcult formation:
                Helbrute, TL lascannon
                20 cultists, 2 flamers
                30 cultists, 3 heavy stubbers

So as you can see, I could actually make a normal army and make my cultists troops, but in the formation they are in makes them fearless, which I valued more than objective secured.  Now this list looks pretty scary, but I found that I just did not have any teeth.  The maulerfiends are great, but with only 3 attacks, 4 when charging, they are only really going to kill 1 marine a turn.
My first game was against Matt Brewet who was running Iron Hands.  He had a librarian with stern guard in a rhino, 2 tac squads in rhinos, an iron clad in drop pod, and a devastator squad with missiles.

For my warlord trait I rolled the one that lets me infiltrate 3 of my units and my warlord and I chose to deploy my 20 man cultist squad and the spawn on the right flank to try and bait him to getting close enough for me to assault him on my first turn.  I then “infiltrated” my other 30 man cultist squad in my backlines cause I didn’t want his Ironclad dropping in there to cause trouble.
My plan essentially worked, in theory.  He moved up with a tac squad and his sterguard to wipe out the cultists which allowed me to assault with both of my maulerfiends on my turn 1, which is where they stayed the entire game before getting ground down by krak grenades.

End of turn 2

This game ended with me having 1 cultists and 1 spawn alive.  I found that this list did not have enough killing power, as I mentioned earlier.  For other lists I’ll consider getting rid of the big cultist unit and taking marines, and then swapping a maulerfiend for a heldrake, because they are awesome.

As my next game will prove…

For my 1500 point list I had the above and added:
Heldrake, baleflamer
Heldrake, Hades autocannon
Sorcerer, level 3, 5++, Balestar (gives access to divination) combi-melta, force axe.

This game I play another Matt, and as it turns out I know him.  He used to live in the same little town that Donny and I grew up in.  Anyway, he is playing Ultramarines with a Librarian, 5 terminators, 3 scout squads, a tac squad, centurions and a devastator squad.  No vehicles though, not even a rhino.
This game went all my way.  Matt deployed across his entire table edge, and I deployed my whole army on my right flank, away from his centurions.  Again I rolled the warlord trait that allows me to infiltrate and I make good use of it infiltrating everything I could, and I got all the awesome psychic powers I wanted.

Deployment - my cultists were actually out of LOS

He had the first turn and didn’t do anything, maybe killing a couple cultists.  I moved up as far as possible and got off all kinds of psychic powers.  Ignoring cover, rending, the works, and I did some damage to his largest scout squad that had Tellion in it.
His second turn happens and he doesn’t get in his terminators, who were in deepstrike mode, and then did some superficial damage to the maulers and killed a couple more cultists.
My turn 2 was devastating.  Both heldrakes come in and BBQ his devastators, and everything I have assaults something and kills it.  At the end of my turn he is left with terminators in reserve, the centurions, and a tac squad with his Librarian, and he decides to call the game.  I though this was a bit premature because he still had a chunk of his army left, but we started playing his turn 3 and his terminators still didn't come in and his important shooting didn't do anything.

Start of my turn 3

This game everything went my way and it demoralized Matt pretty hard during turn 2.  He was pretty new to the game so I gave him some pointers and it turns out he won his next game, so I hope he learned something from the baby seal clubbing.

For my third game, and to bring my list up to 1850 I added another Helbrute formation which allowed me to deep strike 3 helbrutes.  Sounds awesome eh, only if helbrutes didn’t suck…

I was playing Jason in a cool mission called Bullets and Beans.  The idea was that it’s nearing the end of a long campaign and each force is beginning to run out of supplies.  At the beginning of the game you roll on a chart to find out what supply your army is running low on, then at the start of each turn, you roll again on each unit in your army and on a 1-2 that unit is affected by the supply shortage.  If you are holding one of the 6 objectives, you don’t have to roll as the objectives are the supplies you need.

Deployment - bubble wrap my backfield

I rolled hunger, so at the start of my turn each of my non-vehicle units that rolled a 1-2 could only move at half their speed.  Jason rolled bullets and any unit that rolled a 1-2 could not shoot, which came into effect a couple of times preventing his predator from shooting, and his stormfang gunship on a critical turn.
This game went pretty well until around turn 3 where I made a critical mistake.  I got carried away after having 3-4 double rye and cokes, and forgot to cast my psychic powers, which in my case was huge.  I needed to cast invisibility on my spawn who were in combat with Jason’s Thunderwolf cavalry.  Having forgotten to cast invisibility meant that the wolves chewed through the spawn and made it to my cultists and, more importantly, got close enough to contest my objective.

Needless to say I didn’t win, but I had a great time getting warhammered with a bunch of cool guys, and at least my games went better than Donny’s, who got spanked in both of his non-40k games he played while we wasn’t running the tournament.

I’ll be looking forward to the next one.

Until then, Happy gaming.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

ORKS LOSE BY WINNING! The 2014 Beer League show down!


  Now I have zero idea how in the hell I keep making it to the final of this stupid thing, I play Orks, they arent supposed to win anything.  Actually that being said they dont really.  But despite being handicapped with a severe lack of fire power and armor saves (what the hell is that?) I manage to win or in some cases convince people to forfeit enough games to let me make to the final.

    So with out further delay Fabio shows up at my house, with Eldar.   He KNOWS Eldar make me uncomfortable as it is!  



 We roll off for this and that, I cant really tell you all that much because any of you who have played me know this is about the time I go and get my rye and coke and stare at the TV that will have football and or hockey on.  So Fabio told me, more or less, when it was time to start rolling dice.

  He deployed, then I deployed.  Now there sure must have been a massive point drop in the recent Eldar Codex, because I have never  thought Eldar could fit so much shit into 1k points.   And this is coming from a Ork player, who can shit pack 1k points like you wont believe!

  So Fabio shoots with all this fancy Eldar tech and kills like 1 gretchin and a Ork boy. Ok, well I say, maybe this Eldar stuff aint so bad after all!  So I shoot with my Ork Kannons at Fabio's nicely clumped up Eldar stuff.  I hit ALOT, he fails ALOT of saves and  they fail moral and run right off the board.  I get first blood and slay the warlord!

Ork kannons hit hard!

  Well at this point im feeling pretty good!  Honestly prob had more to do with obscene amount of Jimmy Bean coursing through my veins.

  TURN 2!

  Well Fabio starts shooting, and after 25 str 5 bs skill 5 shots I was like wow, im glad thats over, upon which he tell me, oh thats just ONE Wave Serpent!  Oh mother of god.  He manages to start sniping all shorts of shit.  I lose like an entire 20 man squad of boyz in one turn.  I hate ignores cover shots!

Eldar shooting doesnt seem all that fair, i was inside a freaking bunker and still got dummied!

So now im getting worried.   I shot more stuff but never really killed all that much.  Wave Serpents seeming have saves on top of saves on top of saves!

Orks seemingly safe inside a bloody bunker.  But not from sneaky Elf voodoo shooting!

  So by now im down to a like 17 boyz, my war boss and a mek in mega armour.  Plus the all mighty Gorkanaught and mega Dread, who likes to hit absolutely F'all.

  Now sadly its Eldar shooting time again.  I cant get across the table, im stuck in cover and these two legged Disco ELF shit with with 50 shots each start to target my other squad.  Its an amour 10 vehicle with some kind of stupid saves!  (why not!)  

War walker rapes my orks!

So by now im hunkered down with one gretchin and a few orks plus my mega mek.  In the not so safe building.  But like a bad infomerical "BUT WAIT THERES MORE!"  That seems to be the principle on how the eldar codex was written.

  My big mek with a re-roll able 2 up save (only one re roll per turn cause that seems good unless your getting pumped by wave serpents and war walkers) gets sniped out of the building by more Eldar voo doo magic shooting!

Big mek gets sniped!

  So now i have a few  Ork boys left.  But I think I can still win this thing!  Oh wait Fabio finally gets his Eldar bikes to come on and they can move over anything where ever they want no matter how retarded it may seem.

Fabio Eldar bikes, what terrain?

  These line breaking, point stealing devil machines deploy on my table edge, then  in one move end up right beside my objective, oh yeah and their troops too!

  Now because for some stupid reason I thought this black dice on the board was an objective marker, and being all clever I thought i would go to ground by it, not realizing I was 4 inches from the real objective!  I now had to NOT go to ground so I could get up and move to the objective.  Well I stuck my head up and head it take off by 70 wave serpent shots!
Ork boys decide to get up after going to ground and get wiped out

  So despite all this shit going on, I can still win this thing.  IF I wipe out the remaing  jet bikes on the 4 point Objective.  I shoot with my mega dread! NOTHING! (Elves on bikes in ruins get a 2+ cover save, AWESOME!)  So now its all up to the Gorkanaught.  Its Over time! With this one move he can win the game!  I move and I shoot!  And I wipe out ALL the jet bikes!  I WIN!  

Gorkanaught bullz eyes Jet bikes

  Wait, Fabio goes, shit wells there is the game.  And suddenly it dawns on me, Dam you Jimmy Bean burbon! I didnt think this completely through, my plan being to shoot some bikes and then charge.  Thus placing me on the objective for the win.  When on gods green earth is Ork shooting so good that it manages to wipe out stuff?  The Gorkanaught by wiping out the last remaing Jet bike gave me nothing to charge and now im stuck between two objectives holding neither one!

  So I look to Fabio and say, wow I just lost but blowing you off the table.  The Gorkanaught super stud all game just fired the shots that while killing Fabio, won him the war.  Huh?

Gorkanaught super shooting back firing badly

  So instead of winning by a few points I now lose by 1.  AWESOME!

 It was until that point a super fun and great game.  Hats off to Fabio for winning and finding my house.  I even had the road ripped up on one side to deter him from coming here, still didnt work!

  So the Eldar win over the Orks............again.  


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Hello Fellow Nerds!

I am posting on behalf of Damien Cote in regards to a 40k Doubles Tournament that he and Christian August are holding at the Winnipeg Games Workshop Store. (All the information is towards bottom)

Here is the info behind the event written up by Damien:
For those of you unfamiliar with who I am or why I am doing this:
 Melanie McCloskey was my fiancee who lost her battle with breast cancer last July. We had known each other for 8 years, having met way back in high school. When her cancer went to stage 4 I made a promise to her that I would continue the fight for her.
 So last year and this year I have put together a team for the Run for the Cure to run in her honour. I have also become very involved in the breast cancer research area, focusing my studies in systems and synthetic biology and some bioinformatics.
 Your donation makes a difference, it gives those of us who work tirelessly day and night the resources for us to develop better treatments and greatly enhance the chances of survival for breast cancer patients. Feel free to ask me about my research in the area, and I can show you some of the advancements we (mankind) have made.
 But I don't feel that just asking you for your money is good enough, instead I would like to get people together to have some fun and good times playing games against each other. After all, one of the best methods to prevent cancer is to have less stress. Meeting new people, playing in a laid back non-competitive environment is a great way to relieve stress.
 Thank you.
 If you have any further questions, feel free to ask me. If you would like to help or join my team, visit;




Register with me or at the GW store with Mark. I WILL BE GONE on a field research course from July 25th to August 2nd. During that period you can contact Christian Augst or Mark to register.
 The Event will be held on [u]August 30th[/u]
 This will be a [u]doubles tournament[/u] hosted at [u]Games Workshop Winnipeg[/u].
 Doubles 40k Tournament Fundraiser for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation.
 [u]3 Games, 860 Points per player.[/u] (1720/team)
 [u]Location: Games Workshop Winnipeg - 200 Meadowood Drive, Unit 14.[/u]
 [u]Entry fee: $20.00 per person [/u](tax deductible donation to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation on behalf of my team "Melanie's Fire")
 This is to be paid up front. Online donations can be made here:
 Players are encouraged to sign up as a team.
 Individuals are also welcome and will be randomly assigned a teammate.

 Rules and Restrictions:

 + All models must be painted to a 3-colour minimum.
 + One Combined Arms Detachment per player.
 + Players may select their Warlord Trait unless a Warlord Trait is set for a character. This must be noted on your roster before coming to the store on game day
 + No 'Lords of War'.
 + Teams treat each force as Allies of Convenience.
 + Fortifications are limited to Aegis Defence Lines and Bastions.

 + Phantom Fury - Top Team Battle Points
 + Preferred Enemy - Favorite Opposing Team (player voted)
 + Master-Crafted - Favorite Army (player voted)

 Donation Opportunities $5.00 each.
 + Re-roll For The Cure - You get a 'keeper dice' and once per game you may use it for a re-roll.
 + Challenge For The Cure - Challenge an opposing team to battle in the next game instead of randomly being assigned.

Guys I know we like saving money for more plastic crack but I think this is another one of those times where we need to take a step back and evaluate what is more important.

Remember every Dollar counts!
For more info you can visit:

I will be there, will you??? 


Wednesday, July 23, 2014

40kegger 6 Tables

Sorry for the delay in posts, but its fucking summer and I have summer shit going on. Like sitting outside with my dogs drinking beer. Going hiking. Going out with girls.*winky face*

Here's our tables all set up pretty like before the event.