Friday, December 28, 2012

The Ministorum Propagandus wants you!

For shits and giggles I've decided to run a little contest. The contest is this: Create a funny 40k related demotivational poster and submit it to myself.  On January 15th (ish) I'll post all the submissions and people can vote for their favourites (favorites for our American viewers). The winner will receive a high 5 from me, and a mouth kiss from JP.

I recommend using pictures from your own games, especially if it makes your friend/opponent look like an asshole. That makes for some funny shit.

A good site to easily make these posters can be found here.

If people submit a ton of shitty posters, a separate  post will be created to make fun of you.

Keep fit and have fun!


Thursday, December 27, 2012

D-Day at beaches of Orkandy

 Lesson 1, Ork math.

 Necron Flyer spam


Necron Mind Shackle Scarrabs


  Now I HAD a battle report all written down, but my kids took the paper and made it into....something.

  So here is what I remember:

 Turn 1:  

  Necrons get to go first, notice all the Orks on the table and lack of Flyers, this is important.

  So, when I see Armour 14 on the table, I say SMASH IT!  So I charge Ghazz and his merry band over to the that very expensive and cool looking thing with this Necron on top like a cherry.

  Fabio shoots a ton and misses the trukk (freakin trukk is the toughest unit in the game I swear!).  Ghaz drives up gets out beats the wheels off the Necron battle barge, and blows it up good.  Out falls Necron war lord.   Deffkoptas kill a necron jetbike hiding in the back.  Things are going good!

Turn 2:

ALL and yes by all I mean ALL Necron Flyers fly onto to table at once.  I suddenly know the what being at Pearl Harbor was like.  So, in one turn I lost 3 Deffkopta's, 1 squad of Lootas, 2 Mega Nobz, 8 Boyz and the game.

  Turn 3:  Ghaz is pissed and beats the snot out of a squad of Necron snipers, then he kills Necron Warlord, Problem number #349, Necrons get up after being dead, and are very good at being not dead, so much so, that killing the warlord doesnt count!  Aghh!

Turn 3:

 Dakka Jet to the rescue!  WAGHHHHH......err wait.  Dakka jet shoots 18 str 6 shots and puts exactly -1 HP on the Doom Sythe.  Not sure what those odds are there but that results in this:  

  Now I have no anti-air.

  This is what I have left to shoot at The Fantastic Fabio Air force:

Sure they love to shoot, but man they cant hit anything!

Turn 4:

Ghaz decides to get mind shackled (im not joking) 5x in a row......then when he finally passes his mind shackle test, he dies without chance to hit back.  AWESOME!

  The remaining Orks, take cover in the building, the last known transmission back to the Ork home world was from their PR guy. This is all that was heard from them:

Victory Necron Fantastic Fabio Airforce!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Blood for the Nerd God pt 3: Demon Table WIP


Here's some pictures of some finished demon buildings, and the beginnings of some altarish sacrificy thing.

Shit! I forgot to paint that light and try my hand at some object source lighting a la airbrush

The gooey bits are brought to you by:
Replicating gore since 2009

JP had told me about this trick using the Tamiya clear red. It can be applied to anything you want to look gorey...Chain weapons, guts, demon buildings. Paint the red on, and on a side pallet, mix some red with a bit of black wash. Before the object you're painting is dry, randomly stipple some of the red/black wash mix onto the straight red. The red/black gives it that gross, trauma, clotty look. I love it!

Piece of leftover floor from my Russian building and the dozer blad from my Predator Infernus

You may recall the cess pit type thing from my previous post. It was originally a FW blister that I had been mixing the "Great Stuff" expanding foam in. Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!

Now I just have to give this bad boy a few layers of dry brushing and he should be complete. If you have any ideas how to make this piece even cooler, write a comment below!


Thursday, December 20, 2012

Well, it's not Matt Ward...

It's Jeremy Vetock.

Who the fuck is Jeremy Vetock? *Google search*...

Ok... It looks like most of his resume comes from Warhammer Fantasy. He's done Skaven, Ogre Kingdoms, and Orcs & Goblins. He's also been involved with the overall design for all three games systems, but this is his first 40k Codex.

And here it is. Welcome to 6th edition, Dark Angels.

Obviously I was far more excited for the new Chaos release. But I am generally excited whenever a new 40k Codex comes out. But most of all, I am really excited that this isn't a Matt Ward book. I think that may be a good sign of things to come in 40k, because I am hoping that the first few books in 6th will set a solid baseline for future publications. So, what kind of stuff is coming with it?


And there we have it, the new look of the Dark Angels. I think there are some great desgins in this release. I especially love the theme they are bringing to the Deathwing Terminators and the Ravenwing Bikes. The Knights look absolutely amazing, and just perfectly majestic like a super elite Dark Angel should be.

That new Flyer is pretty cool, but I am scared by the amount of firepower that it has. With 6th edition already having a Flyer metagame going on, the last thing we need is another Flyer with a stupid amount of firepower. I am guessing it will be as fragile as a Stormtalon though... Very awesome design on that, they hit the mark just right.

That speeder looks like a piece of shit. What's with all the shrines and everything? It really looks like a bad kitbash of a couple Land Speeders, an Exorcist, and a few pieces of Halo Mega Blocks. Fuck is that thing stupid looking...

But back to the author. I am really interested to see what this book does to the game. This is a pivitol point in the game where we see what 6th will look like. Chaos gave us a glimpse that you can make a Codex with competitive options, but keep it on a baseline that still requires the player to use his grey matter. I hope this Dark Angels Codex stands level with Chaos, and that we don't see too much creep.

To conclude, some rules derived from the White Dwarf:

Courtesy of Lars (Denmark) via Faiet212:
Dark Talon: Rift cannnon (no rules sited), hurricane bolters and stasis bomb (one use only, dropped on an enemy for - 3 WS and - 3 I)

Niphilim fighter: heavy bolters, blacksword missiles (no rules sited, but the battle report later in the issue mentions that the fighter is supposed to be good at taking on enemy flyers, so I guess the missiles are for that), avenger mega bolter/lascannon.

Deathwing Command: multiple options incl. apothecary and standard bearer. A "Champion" wielding the "massive halberd of Caliban" is mentioned and there's a picture (no rules sited).

Deathwing Knights: Terminators with WS5, Storm Shields, power mauls and special rules, incl. Hammer of Wrath and "Smite" which makes them strike at S10 AP2 for one round. BTW both DW terminators and the knights can be fielded in units of 10 now! Oh and the DW can take plasma cannon and they have USR "split fire"!!!!

Land Speeder Vengeance: AC/HB, plasma storm battery (mentioned in the battle report to be able to fire either 3 small blasts or 1 large blast, I'm guessing plasma stats).

Darkshroud: HB/AC, Shrouded USR and conferes Stealth to allies within 12", and it has a rule that gives units +1 to charge distance (as far as I can read - the picture is quite small and hard to read, so perhaps it's plus 1 to something else).

RW Black Knights: plasma talons (instead of bolters, no rules sited, and not being called twin-linked plasma gun/pistols leads me to believe the rules could be a bit different), corvus hammer (no rules sited, but I guess they are power mauls), they also have the option of a RW grenade launcher.

Sammael: pretty much the same as before, as far as I can tell, though with a 4+ (which is confered to the land speeder if he chooses that instead) - can't remember if that's new.

Dreadnaught: has option for dual twin-autocannons, venerable dreadnaught has "DW vehicle" rule.

DW knights and black knights have a rule called "Inner Circle" and in the battlereport it is mentioned as giving them some form of re-roll in close combat.

New rule calles DW Vehicle

DW assault rule is mentioned in the battle report as ensuring a DS in turns 1 or 2 with no dice roll needed, decided by the DA player before the game begins.

There are more special rules mentioned but no rules sited.
DW, DW command and knights are in the same box.
RW command and RW black knights are in the same box.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

There's always something broken....

I'm going to bitch about 40K.  Mostly to give everyone a break from Greg's "tell me i'm pretty!" posts. 6e has been out for almost 6 months now and I thought I would offer some thoughts.  Because Christmas is coming, i'll even be nice and I wont even bitch about GW prices.  By now, we all have decent sized armies and ways to get cheap(er) stuff online.  I'm just going to focus on some major sore spots for me with the GAME itself.

1.  Flyers.  seriously?  for the most part, flyers are too good.  The pinnacle being that Necron munchkin Nightscythe bullshit.  You can have something like NINE flyers in an army under 2,000 pts...How does GW not FAQ this problem?  Not to mention the lack of Skyfire choices for many races/armies.

2.  Defence Lines.  everyone takes them now...and its gay.  Gay like Glee.  thats how gay.

3.  Vehicles.  Moar ways to die!  not only is there the chance of insta-kill, now you can glance them to death.

                                           Mein Tank!  Noch zwei schl├Ąge, und ich bin tot!

4.  Forge World rules.  Rapier battery....Contemptor....come on.  Oh because its FW, which we all know is really GW then its ok right?  yeah, fuck you.  The models ARE cool.  But remember, only assholes dont let you use experimental rules.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Blood for the Nerd God pt 2: Chaos table WIP

Here are a few finished buildings. The only thing left to do to them is give the gooey bits a coat of gloss varnish as soon as I pick some up. I may also free hand some chaos graffiti onto 1 or 2 of the walls. Tell me what you think.

I had a few Rhino pieces left over from my Predator Infernus kit. I was originally going to make some blown up vehicle markers, but then I got a neat idea that involved a hot glue gun. MORE DEMON TERRAIN!

Who jizzed on my Rhino?!?!

I think I'm going to paint the slime either a dark Nurgley green or a bright radio active green. I can't decided what colour to paint the hull either. I want it to be a loyalist chapter who's colours compliment the ooze.
Ideas? Leave a comment.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Blood for the Nerd God pt1: Chaos table WIP

After watching a cool terrain video on Mormonwargaming, I got a really cool idea to make a chaos table and terrain. First step was using the cheap Russian buildings I got off ebay.

Cheap Russian terrain

Looks like a normal building with a few pustules...

Same building side view

I call it "The Demons colon"

My new favourite terrain medium

Great for making gooey viscera looking bits

So far the gooey bits have been airbrushed with Reaper Brick Red, and then Deep Red. Then nothing as my airbrush shit the bed (explained later on in post).

This piece will be embedded into the floor of the table as a cess pit or something. This was originally what  I was stirring the foam in while applying it to the buildings. The residue expanded and I thought it looked cool.
I airbrushed it with Reaper deep red, gave it a black wash, highlighted with deep red again, and then a final highlight of Reaper blood red.

Cess pit?

This is the building I was working on my my brand new (cheap) airbrush shit the bed.

Piece of shit
I finally broke down and impulse bought a cheapy airbrush on ebay ($60 incl. shipping). I expected it to be kind of crappy, but after about an hour of using it, it stopped producing pressure. It's a piece of shit. Don't ever buy it. The ebay store has already been emailed, and hopefully they will refund me w/o me having to pay to ship it back.

As soon as I get another compressor, I can continue to paint these buildings. The outside walls still need to be base coated and drybrushed and the gooey parts need more layers and highlights.
I've got lots of ideas for this table, including some cool campaigny ideas!
Stay tuned for more!