Tuesday, July 9, 2013

STOMPZILLA invades Goyoko!




Whenever you invite Orks over to your home planet (first of prob a bad idea) second tell em to leave their stompa at home.

Greg, leader and captain of the Morris Salamanders decided his space marines needed some exercise.  So Captain of the Salamanders Greg-o-ditis set a trap on planet Morris with beer and chips as bait.  So it was  the Salamanders put out a distress call to the planet Cooks Creek (home of the Orks) about planet Morris having too much beer and munchies, and were in dire need of a eating machine.

Greg tells me to bring 2500 points of Orks including a super heavy.  So i kinda bring this (more on this later).  

Turn 1 deployment!  (time allowed 1 hour)  Its a real bitch setting up 80 ork boyz!

Turn 1:

I move and shoot with everything but the Stompa, the result?  2 dead space marines and 1 hull point off the Rhino.  NOT GOOD!  So the hungy hungry Orks tell the Stompa, "Stompa, lets see what you can stomp!"

  Stompa shoots, and Captain Greg of the Salamanders loses everything on the right side of the table, including a bane blade!  Now I came to this game to test out a battle wagon, now the battle wagon has absolutely nothing infront of it, and is pretty much useless.


Stoma shooting!

So I would tell of you of Greg's turn, but to sum it up he killed 2 ork boyz.  And took a few hull points off the Stompa.  

Turn 2:  My planes both come on!  WIN!  Greg says I gotz interceptor!  He asks if im going to evade, I say in typical Ork fashion F'it LET IT RIDE BABY!


Greg rolls 

So  the result?  

Plane 1:  

Plane 2:

  The result?  6 dead Ork boyz, now add that to my Weird Boy frying 2 more I pretty much killed more Orks then Greg did in the entire game.

Ork airforce

Now it was right around this time I looked closer at the stompa rules and saw it was only 600 points, not 800 like I orginally thought.  I apparently cheated, but cheated for Greg.  I now realize I am missing 200 hundred points of Orks that should have been on the table.  

My Count was a little distracted

  So everything I have shoots some more Ork boyz are running around Planet Morris drinking all the beer and eating all the cheeses!  

The remains of the left side of the table
END GAME!  The stompa absolutely rocked the table hard.  Now being Orks and having such a good time I decided to leave Planet Morris with Captain Greg alive for the next time he has too many beer and cheeses!  

Captain Greg tabled on turn 2.


  1. My ass still hurts from that raping!
    At least you used lube... problem is, Orks use vinegar for lube!

  2. STOMPA'S! I wouldnt roll doubles at all so I just kept on shooting and shooting. Im not kidding I think I rolled over 30x in the top of turn 2. Greg couldnt believe it.

  3. Did you shoot the Supa Gatla twice? I'm not 100% sure, but I thought it could only shoot that gun once.
    Once meaning up to 100 time, but only during one shooting phase. Afterwards it becomes useless.

  4. You can shoot until you run out of ammo aka once you roll doubles, problem is I never rolled doubles.

  5. Right, but from the report it sounds like you shot it during the first turn, and then you mentioned in the comments that you shot it during the second turn.

    Did you shoot it both turns, or only one of them?

  6. Both because I never ran out of ammo, have to re-read the rules, if im wrong dont tell Greg.

  7. Not sure if you've gotten your hands on the new rules yet, but it is now heavy 2d6 that can be fired 3x per turn. Doubles on any roll except the first (you get at least two rolls) means you've blown your load and its done for the game.

  8. Shit thats still really really good.