Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Battle Report: Robpocalypse vs J.P.

Rob's Ork Forces:

Ghazghkull Thraka
3 Mega Nobs, Trukk w/Big Shoota
3 Deffkoptas w/TL Rocket Launchers
20 Boyz
20 Boyz, Nob w/Bosspole, Powerclaw
4 Lootas w/Deffguns, Mek Boy w/Custom Mega Blaster

J.P.'s Chaos Forces:

Daemon Prince w/Wings, MoT, Telepathy Power (took Shriek)
8 Chaos Marines, Plasma gun, Champ w/Fist, IoCG, Rhino
8 Chaos Marines, Plasma gun, Champ w/Fist, IoCG, Rhino
6 Raptors, 2 Meltaguns
Dreadnought w/TL Autocannon, Heavy Flamer
Vindicator w/Possession

Mission: Big Guns Never Tire (rolled for 3 Primary Objectives), Pitched Battle

Beer: Steam Whistle

Ok, So I brought 4 cans of "Steam Whistle". It's a Canadian beer made in Toronto at an old locomotive factory now converted into a brewery. I hit the LC in between work and Rob's house, so I was limited to the selection in the fridge (which in Selkirk is rather minimal). I would have liked to get something from the shelves, but there wasn't time to chill it. So "Steam Whistle" was what I grabbed from the fridge. I thought, "I've never tried that, and it's green, I'm about to fight Orks..."

 "Aye Boss, we found somefin ova ere"

It was a typical Pilsner. The second beer tasted better than the first beer because it had a fairly hoppy tone that needed to settle on the palette. The second beer was quite good, but I can't see myself going out of my way to but it again. There are just too many good beers out there.

We used an unconventional table for the game, but it was all we had to work with. It was a standard fold out table that was about 5 feet long and only 30" wide. So, with a pitched battle needing 24" of separation between deployment zones, that gave us each 3" to deploy our forces. It was interesting...

The battlefield

Most people would be a little concerned about being placed this close against Orks, but my Chaos force is a mid-range effective army, so I wasn't too concerned about the board. At least the board was right next to the big flat screen TV, so Monday Night Football was our backdrop.

Ravens vs Bengels. Flacco was threading the needle all night long...

Turn 1

I forgot to take pictures on this turn...

Rob got first turn and moved his Boyz into cover while bringing his Trukk full of Mega Nobz and Ghazghkull up his left flank, supported by the Deffkoptas. A rather smart move because he decided not to smash his Trukk into my lines without support. The Deffkoptas blew open one of my Rhinos, spilling the Marines onto the board. The Lootas opened fire on my Daemon Prince, but managed to hit nothing but air thanks to BS 2.

My Turn 1 was the beginning of a what would become a painful, yet humorous game. First things first, my Dreadnought entered a Fire Frenzy. So, angry old "Dreddy McAsshole" turned to the squad of Chaos Marines that had just been evicted from their Rhino (now a wreck) and decided to blast and burn away ceramite in a fit of rage. After all the Autocannons stopped whirring and the Heavy Flamer cooled, only 2 Chaos Marines remained. Thanks buddy...

I moved most of my force up my left flank to create a bit of separation from the Mega Nob Trukk, but decided to make a rather stupid move with my Daemon Prince. You see, at that moment, it totally slipped my mind that only a few days ago, the new Chaos FAQ made Daemon Princes Flying Monstrous Creatures. When I deployed him, I knew I wanted to swoop him around to create problems, but for some reason, at the start of my Turn 1, my brain decided to forget that rule and I moved him as Jump Infantry. On top of that, I had a brain fart and forgot that Monstrous Creatures don't have anything to the effect of Assault Grenades. Regardless, he flew over to a horde of Boyz in cover. In the shooting phase he took care of 6 Boyz with a Psychic Shriek. The assault phase is a different story. He got his charge distance even with the difficult terrain modifiers and closed in on the Boyz. He got 1 hit from Hammer of Wrath and killed a Boy at Initiative 10, then it was on to the next Initiative step. Was it the Initiative 5 Daemon Prince? Nope, he charged through cover. It was the Boyz who attacked next. So, 13 Boyz rolled their hits while Rob made some sort of secret pact to the dice gods. The 5's and 6's rolled out of this hands as his eyes lit up like a pedophile at a playground. My Daemon Prince was forced to make 12 saves, failing exactly 4 of them. There you have it, the Ork Boyz strike again with another Daemon Prince on their list of kills (right Fabio?).

Epic fail... Bye bye Daemon Prince, see you next time.

Turn 2

Table at start of Turn 2

With his entire left flank controlled, Rob pushes forward into the center of the board. Oh, and the Dakkajet comes in... From this point forward we are going to call it the "Rapejet". When he decided to declare a Waaaaaagh!, his Rapejet doubles its shooting attacks. What to 18 Rapejet shots do to Chaos Vindicators? They make them go boom. His Deffkoptas push forward a little bit and knock 2 hull points of my Dreadnought and stun him, making him useless for a whole turn (fuck, at least he will stop murdering my army...). His Lootas take a hull point off my other Rhino and halt it in its path by stunning it as well.

My Turn 2, what remains of my army is stunned except for my unit of Raptors and the 2 Marines that survived my Dreadnought's temper tantrum.

Limited options... the game is not looking good

I decide to keep my full unit of Marines in their stunned rhino because there is no point in disembarking them if they can't shoot at the Lootas standing right there. My other 2 Marines do the only thing they can do and open fire on the Boyz that took down the Daemon Prince. It is only a matter of time before that Trukk gets here and then Ghazghkull will chew up what remains of my force. Well, the Raptors take care of what they can, so they jump forward and blast the Lootas into oblivion.

Turn 3

Rob closes in on the 2 Marines with his one unit of Boyz and secures an objective with the other. The Trukk pulls into town and the Deffkoptas take Linebreaker position while keeping a firing lane at my Dreadnought. The Deffkoptas take out the last hull point on the Dreadnought and the Boyz charge in to the small "unit" of Marines. Overwatch takes out one Boy, but they close in and send the poor Night Lords into the afterlife


My turn 3, I unload the full unit of Marines from my other Rhino parked on the left flank and bring my Raptors down into a firing position against his unit of Boyz. The Marines and Raptors fire with everything they got and blast the unit down to 4 Boyz. That is just enough to get them to break and send them running away from the objective.

The wrecked Dreadnought watches as the next football game gets going: Raiders vs Chargers

Rob has some sick painting skillz. You can also see the other unit of Boyz having a nap on an objective

Turn 4

Well, little to my knowledge, Ghazghkull makes Mega Nobs a Troops choice. What?!? So, the Mega Nobs hop out of the Trukk and sit on top of the objective. He now has 2 objectives again. After unloading the Mega Nobs, the Trukk hops forward 6" and unloads Ghazghkull in the face of my Raptors. A couple Big Shootas and the TL Shootas on the Mega Nobs knock a few bodies off the Raptor unit, then Ghazghkull declares his charge... and rolls 3". That was pretty funny. The Deffkoptas and Dakkajet take a few bodies out of my Marine unit.

Turn 4, not many Night Lords left...

My turn 4, with only 5 bodies left, my unit of Marines approach the 3rd and final objective. Like everything else in the game, this moment was also met with pain and humour. In this scenario, we had to use Mysterious Objectives. Of course, at this moment, in my last ditch effort to have something go right, I roll a "1". Yup, Sabotaged, the objective explodes, hitting all 5 guys, and I fail 2 saves. Which two models were closest to the objective and needed to be removed? My Champion and Plasma gunner... Awesome... Oh, and a morale test was needed, which I failed, and the 3 remaining Marines start to run off the objective and towards my table edge...

Turn 5

Rob sends Ghazghkull over to clean up the Raptors while sitting pretty on 2 objectives with a full unit of Boyz and an untouched unit of Mega Nobz. He sends the Deffkoptas over near the 3rd objective to make sure they were a denial unit.

On my turn, my falling back 3 man unit of Marines rally, but do not have the movement to get back to the objective. Regardless, there are 3 Deffkoptas sitting there to deny, making any hope of getting control a myth. We roll for a turn 6 but there is no point. End of Game...

VP Tally

Rob got First Blood for blowing up that Rhino on Turn 1 with his Deffkoptas.
Rob got Slay the Warlord for killing my Daemon Prince with a unit of Boyz (why did I do that move?!?...)
Rob got Linebreaker for having the Deffkoptas on my turf.
And Rob sat on 2 objectives each worth 3 points.

That is a final score of 9-0.

I would like to thank Rob for being an awesome host and feeding me spaghetti. It was a great game but with lots of rulebook look-ups. It was good because both of us haven't really had much experience with 6th, so while the game was really long, we learned a lot about some of the more subtle rules in 6th. This is one of those losses I can walk away from with a smile on my face because it was just a great evening. Glad we found Rob, welcome to the community buddy!


  1. Funny game, I was so excited to shoot at something with my kustom mega blasta, j.p. said just don't roll a one, I showed him and did. My mek boy then exploded in a puddle of green goo. Smh....