Friday, April 19, 2013





So this being my first ever Eldar game I had no idea wtf to expect.  I hear lots of stories, how they need a new codex, all the units are way to expensive blah blah easy win!  Well that was until Sean deployed.  Or rather kinda deployed.


Eldar deployment

I was starting to get a complex, after this deployment I was wondering if he wanted to even play.

 So OK!  Turn 1, Eldar go first.............except Orks wanna go first so I steal it!  Take that!

  My Lootas shoot at the 'safe house', oh wait I say look I can see your shoulder pad on one of your War Walkers........Ok crap he says, fine go ahead and shoot.  So my Lootas who are infamous for their accuracy shoot, and shoot and mis......wait holy shit they hit something!  And it explodes!  5 Inches!  And kills 7 Eldar!  Wow, the 'safe house' aint so safe!  

  Im not sure how you fail 9 4+ cover saves, but ask Sean cause he did it all in a row.  What a nice guy!

Sean rolling saves....

So Judging by Sean's Deployment, I figured out with my master stratergy mind that I would in fact have to go get him.

Not only did I have to go Sean's house in real life to fight him, but I in fact had to go his his house on the table to actually fight him.  Hey at least he is consistent!

Turn 2

I drive up, ring the door bell, someone yells no one home.  I want to attack I say, some girly looking thing in a disco out fit says im a harlaquin and you can only attack me from the rear!

Now, Orks are pretty straight shooters,  Ghazz gives me  a puzzled look, and I tell him your going to have to assualt that tranny Elf the way he wants it, in through the back door!


What my Orks encounter went I pull up to the house of Elf love.

I send Ghazz and his mega-armoured nobs (I reinforced the rear before I sent them) around to the back door.

 There I encountered something called harlequins.  I had to pass a leadership test just to get Ghazz and his buddies to assualt them!  Elf's wearing makeup in disco suits!

Harlequins in action!

Well these tranny elf's can sure fight!  WTF!  

So all thats left is Ghaz now.  Yeah dont F with those elves......

 Ghazz's only chance of survival is to roll a 5 or a 6 invul and he pulls it off!  TSN turning point!

  Ghazz then climbs the Elf safe house beating the tar of every cookie making critter in robes he can find.  He then orders in his boyz to fight the crazy bitches!

  Dakka jet comes on, I say "Sean im shootin at your jet bikes.....with 18 shots.......str 6...........twin linked........ballistic skill 3..........."  While I roll Sean starts crying while looking at the rules of Dakka Jet for some reason.  Then he removes his Eldar Jet bikes from the table.

  Mean while its like Turn 5 now.  All thats left is the Disco Eldar and 15 Ork Boyz.  The rest of my stuff is scattered all over the table and all his stuff is still at the back of the house.


The final battle to end all battles ensues.  Disco was blaring!  Spandex was snapping!  Ass cheeks were puckering!  He rolled killed 8 Orks!  I rolled and finally killed all the Disco people!  


Thanks for the great game Sean!  Good time all around I would say.  Ill leave this Battle report of a picture of Sean's stellar 4+ cover save rolling.


  1. Awesome.

    I have my fingers crossed for a rematch in the playoffs.

    Haha, elves...

  2. As positively cringe and laugh inducing as the whole first turn was, I'll take the loss and possibly one of the most memorable 40k moments I can think of in place of a win any day.

  3. That report..what happened between turn two and five? Lol

  4. turn 2-5 I was running for the house, while getting shot to hell. it was far away.

  5. That was a great battle report. Take that you damn dirty disco elves!